when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
