I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
