drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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