The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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