his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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