Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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