if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
