what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
