We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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