i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
