Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
