Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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