My first STD was from a foam party
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
