im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
