I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
