Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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