haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
