Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
