when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
