i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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