meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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