All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
