Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
