I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
