i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
