Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
