Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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