That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize