The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
