Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
