Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
