The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He better not be in your backpack
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
