I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize