Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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