Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
