ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
