I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
