I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
