i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I want her autograph on my taint
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
