i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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