Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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