Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
