i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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