if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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