so explain again why im purple
no
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
someone owes me an orgasm
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
