You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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