I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
