don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
