can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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