3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
