i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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