i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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