I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
