I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
