three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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